May 14, 2011

Misogynists, Unlisted

Whoa!  Imagine my surprise.  I called around town looking for a good misogynist and found out:  1) they aren't widely listed and 2) they don't actually give massages!  As a woman and one very sore from all this extra spring gardening, I take offense.  Deep offense.  Almost as deep as the deep tissue massage that I can't get from any of the misogynists that I called.  Why advertise this if you're not planning to follow through?  That's the problem with people nowadays -- very little follow-through.

If I were a misogynist, I'd go full-throttle.  None of this namby pamby stuff.  For starters, I'd get listed in my local Chamber of Commerce.  Somewhere, nestled between "Marriage Counselors" and "Movers," I'd want to see myself named, loud and proud.  After that, I'd connect with Welcome Wagon to get my brochure ("Ten Things I Hate About You") into that basket of goodies and widely disseminated to suburban soccer moms (true fact:  they don't really use wagons to distribute their wares and might even have to change their name to Welcome Land Rover).  I'd go to all the Rotary Club meetings, volunteer for the Jaycees dunk-a-token-businesswoman-in-the-tank fundraiser, and probably end up President of the Hair Club for Men.  The Daughters of the American Revolution would want me but I would be too busy drinking with my buddies at the VFW to return their calls.  Good old boys, unite!

But this is just me.  I guess there are plenty of business strategies to go around.  Hiding out and advertising falsely is one way of looking at it, I guess.  Meanwhile, I'm still sore.  On a lot of different levels.

1 comment:

  1. Are women allowed to be misogynists? I would be embarrassed to be misogynized by a woman. :)


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