Tweeter Dee & Tweeter Dum

I've been following the U.S. Secret Service on Twitter ever since last week when they established a new account.  It fascinates me to think about a man in a trench coat and a fedora, blending in on a park bench with his concealed piece while tweeting away on his Blackberry.  Normally their tweets are really dull.  Nothing top secret, understand:   nothing about grassy knolls or underworld spies like you might think.  Most of their tweets have been about recruitment fairs mixed with modestly-phrased bragging about 50K runs.  And they refuse to follow anyone else on Twitter, which I don't think is playing well with others.  When I last checked Twitter at 9:45 p.m., they were being followed by 19,773 people but not one of us made the cut as a followee.

An Unexpected Twist

I can't help myself; I love Andy Borowitz.  He has a way of looking at things and making delightful connections that I really enjoy.  If you have twenty minutes to spare and if you're not too grossed out by medical tales, you might want to listen to Andy talk about the time that he got his colon into a twist (don't click on the link if the little ones are still awake or if you're sensitive to adult language).  After all the previous caveats, you should know that this ends on a very sweet note.  Funny audio -- but I'm really glad that it didn't happen to me:  http://www.mixcloud.com/themoth/andy-borowitz-an-unexpected-twist/

2030

Reading a book, seeing a movie, and listening to music can be costly in terms of time and/or money.  I normally try to do my homework before deciding to invest in anything cultural.  Pet Rocks, Gogo Boots, Chia Pets, and Flowbees have burned me enough to know that you just can't hop on board every little platform that comes chugging along -- or you could end up with a closet full of decoupaged wall-hangings in no time flat.  Recently I've been hearing and reading about the dystopian novel 2030 by Albert Brooks, whom you might know as the voice of Marlin the Clownfish in Finding Nemo.  Or maybe you just know him as "Al," who knows?

In Praise of John McCain

I can probably count on one hand the number of times that I've agreed with Republican Senator John McCain (Arizona) over specific political issues.  He has had several really fine moments, though.  The first that stands out for me came when one of his supporters, Gayle Quinnell, told the crowd at a McCain Rally in Minnesota that "Obama is an Arab." McCain took away the microphone and emphatically said, "No ma'am, [Obama's] a decent family man, citizen, that I just happen to have disagreements with on fundamental issues."  I liked that because it showed maturity and an unwillingness to resort to personal character attacks.  This also came at a time when McCain and Obama were both running hard in a tough Presidential race.  The stakes were high and the temptation must have been there for Senator McCain to ride the wave of this comment while it seemed to flow in his favor.

Amy Myers

My newest hero is Amy Myers, a Cherry Hill, N.J., high school student who has drafted a fine letter challenging U.S. Congresswoman Michele Bachmann to a "Public Forum Debate and/or Fact Test on The Constitution of the United States, United States History and United States Civics."

Unabomber Auction

I can't be the only one wondering how owning this bad boy might change my writing style.  This could go a lot of different directions: my career could really explode or it might just bomb out. The L3 Smith-Corona portable manual typewriter that Kaczynski used to type most of his documents, including the "UNABOM Manifesto," was seized by the FBI in April of 1996 and has been out of ribbon ever since.  This is the first of 51 lots of Kaczynski’s personal belongings that the government will be auctioning off online beginning next week, just in case you've been hunting and pecking for some gruesome stuff.  Pictures of these items have been posted on Flickr for our viewing enjoyment. Here's the Washington Post link: http://www.washingtonpost.com/business/economy/government-auctions-unabombers-property/2011/05/13/AFcz4z2G_story.html?wprss=rss_politics  Don't bid on the grey sweatshirt; I've already called dibs.

Misogynists, Unlisted

Whoa!  Imagine my surprise.  I called around town looking for a good misogynist and found out:  1) they aren't widely listed and 2) they don't actually give massages!  As a woman and one very sore from all this extra spring gardening, I take offense.  Deep offense.  Almost as deep as the deep tissue massage that I can't get from any of the misogynists that I called.  Why advertise this if you're not planning to follow through?  That's the problem with people nowadays -- very little follow-through.

Ming the Merciless

I'm feeling a little full of myself right now because I just scared the kolaches out of my friend Josie Byzek on Facebook.  I sent through this link http://www.primaxstudio.com/stuff/scale_of_universe/ to "The Interactive Scale of the Universe" and she got squeamish seeing a 7-metre-long earthworm.  Sissy.  It was long, yes, but it was virtually long.  That's a case of size not mattering if there ever was one.  And then Josie reposted the fright to freak out her friends.  You gotta love a woman like that.